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Power flirting |
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Power flirting is the art of seducing a stranger in less time than it takes to get served at the bar. There's no time for dithering, teasing, faffing or round-the-world travel anecdotes – this is pulling stripped bare. Here's your five-minute master plan.
First impressions are everything when you're flirting against the clock, and first impressions are mainly shaped by looks and confidence. There's only so much you can do about your looks, but there's a lot you can do about your confidence. It's surprisingly easy to get a confidence injection before chatting someone up. Try the “visualisation” trick that athletes use to psych themselves up before a race. Rather than picturing yourself winning the 100m, picture yourself chatting to your gorgeous stranger with sexy panache. You'll really believe that you can do it. The effect wears off quickly, but who cares? You can go straight back to being a nervous wreck once your five minutes is up. 2. Choose your target wisely In walks the most extraordinarily beautiful creature you've seen in your life. You may have a fantastic personality, but if you've got a face that only a mother could love, we don't much fancy your chances. Hey, hear us out! It's absolutely possible to pull someone “out of your league,” but a five-minute power flirt is not the time to do it. You need time to seduce them with your warmth, character, intelligence and devastating mixtape skills. Lust at first sight generally happens between people in the same ballpark of attractiveness, and power flirting is just a slightly elongated version of “first sight”. That 10/10 hottie may require a more stealthy approach. If the pub's about to shut, get their number and scram. 3. Make the first move Let's assume that you've chosen a realistic target. What next? Get in there before you waste another second thinking about it. Don't let fear of rejection stop you making the first move. That fear may feel like protection, but it stops you having any control over your happiness. Fact is, people love having the moves made on them, and most will respond to attention far more positively than you'd expect. Humans are egomaniacs, one and all. If you express interest in someone, the worst they'll say is probably “I've got a boyfriend/girlfriend.” Is that really the worst thing anyone's ever said to you? (Yes? Lucky you!) 4. Watch your body language That aura of confidence that people find so attractive has a lot to do with the way you stand and move. If you walk straight over to them with unwavering eye contact and a confident smile, you'll probably have them before “hello”. Once you do start chatting, keep up the good work by relaxing your face and shoulders, looking them in the eye and speaking clearly. Smiling good, fidgeting bad. It's not hard to work this stuff out, but it can be hard to do in practice, especially if you're naturally shy. Practice makes perfect, so make an effort with your eye contact and other signals whenever you're chatting to people. In time it'll become second nature. 5. Go straight for the ego When there's no time to lose, there's nothing to lose by being upfront. You might be surprised by how much you enjoy looking straight into someone's face and saying, “I'm about to leave, so to hell with it... I think you're lovely. What's your name?” That's all it takes. No smartass jokes or needy self-deprecation, just a statement of interest to make their ego glow. You can bet they'll like you for it, but that's almost beside the point – saying it made you feel so good! 6. Make them feel fascinating If you've got time for a brief chat, make the most of it. Your babble needs to punch above its weight. Rule of thumb: no-one is as interested in you as they are in themselves. Don't waste time talking about yourself. Ask them what they do, encourage them to brag, be intrigued, listen and be seen to listen. It only takes a few seconds to pay an unusual and flattering compliment, but it could stay in their mind for years. Make them feel fascinating, and they'll think you're fantastic company. 7. Get their number If you only have time to say one thing, ask for their phone number. It may be easier to slip them your business card and scamper off, but you'd be unlikely to hear from them – not least because chucking your number at someone doesn't express genuine interest. When you take their number they know that you give a stuff, and it gives you control over what to do next. 8. Leave them wanting more The five-minute power flirt may seem like a challenge, but that time limit is a blessing: it forces you to quit while you're ahead. Given more time, most of us would hang around and give that gorgeous stranger a chance to wish that we'd go away. Vanishing soon after you've met someone is one of the surest ways to
make an impact. It's not as counter-intuitive as it sounds: you tantalise
them and leave them wanting more. That's an infinitely more effective
strategy than following them around like a puppy. |
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